Well its been about 8 months since my last post and i thought it might be time for an update. Alot has happened in the past few months (note the word "alot" is used even though spell check bitches about it , because if "ginormous" is in the dictionary now then "alot" should be as well). Now your probably wondering whats going on for the past few months, so here's a recap of every event important event in excruciating detail:
Michael Jackson died
OK now that that's over with we can move on to more interesting topics....unfortunately i cant think of any at the moment, so lets just go with Michael Jackson.
Ill start with a brief history that i just made up on the spot. Michael Jackson was a moderately popular singer / crotch grabbing dancer during the 1980s (the time that taste forgot). He was beloved by all for some reason and soon topped the charts with music i never listen to. His popularity continued to rise, until one tragic day while filming a commercial for Clorox Bleach, he tripped over a microphone wire (occupational hazard) and fell into one of the open vats of bleach a worker had carelessly left open after filming an episode of "How its Made" a week before. By the time they were able to pull him out it was too late, the damage was done, his skin was permanently bleached white. Doctor's told him he would never dance again, and suggested he learn how to do the robot or line dance. But Jackson refused to give up, training every day to regain his lost moves, but then several months later a second crushing blow came. During an underground break dancing competition while Jackson was attempting a sextuple head spin, he accidentally rolled off the cardboard and onto the cement with such force that his face was completely squished to one side when they brought him to the hospital. The best plastic surgeons in the word were then called in to try and fix his face. They planned out every detail of his face and recorded an instructional video of what his face would look like after the surgery to make sure it would be realistic. Unfortunately the lead doctor on the case rented "Scream II" the night before the operation, and accidentally got the tapes mixed up. It wasn't until week later when they took off the bandages that they realized their mistake. When the pictures of Jacksons new face hit the press, a riot started outside the hospital. The mobs called for the creature to be destroyed as they waved their torches and pitch forks. Jackson in a fit of rage started throwing babies out of the third story window at the crowds of insane fans. But then just as Jackson was running back to the maternity ward to get more babies he was met by several policemen, who frown upon that sort of thing. Just as they were about to handcuff him he leapt out of the window and dashed off into the night.
Several years went by and Jackson now a ghastly shell of a man, swore vengeance against the fans that had pushed him to this point, and he would soon have his revenge. "Ill teach them all a lesson they wont soon forget" he cackled madly. In a secret laboratory under Neverland ranch which he called "The Crocodiles Den" he concocted a plot to destabilize the economy of the entire world. The plan was called "Project Greenspan" and its effects are still being felt worldwide today. His reign of terror continued until 2009 when he was defeated by Batman. May he rest in peace.
Oh yeah and he touched a whole bunch of little boys.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
